Back From the Dead

I have a hard time turning away from this. I see blogger everywhere and I can't seem to keep my mouth shut anymore. We're falling apart. It needs to be known of what's actually taking place. You may know I'm only a single opinion among billions. A tiny speckle of shit. But, Remember, please, that I'm only a single opinion, only to give you an idea. In other words, put it together in my perspective, my own eyes, for yours. What is "it" exactly? Stick around and read some more, find out. Ill be posting frequently. 

Sincerely, Dakota Wilson

Apocala-bullshit

How the fuck do I even start this?

Harold Camping. 89 years old and stacks more shit then the back of a Vietnamese village. Three failed attempts at predicting the end of the world, and a good excuse as to why it didn't end, each time the donation checks came in the mail. A genuine piece of shit.

To start this off, let me tell you I was really hoping some crazy shit would go down. I was ready for it. I'm under the impression I'm going to hell already, so I figured I'd make the best of it, turn it into a positive, and look at the fact that five months of torture, torment, and sorrow would at least give me something to do. Welcome to a small town. We all wanna die. Anyways, thats when zombies got pulled into the picture. Dead rising and rabid flesh eating monsters sounded like a good time. Small pockets of the big G's unsaved fighting off hordes of his death army. Fuck yeah. Either way, nothing happened. Thanks for the disappointment.

What got me was the following. At least 5 predicted dates to end the world every year, you'd think people would start to jump off the band wagon after Y2K. I think its just people wanting to be a part of something. Dealing with death, people are going to be infatuated with the possibility of it happening and having a set date and time for their death. Its going to build, no matter how ridiculous the scenario is, people crave the possibility. Or maybe its just the prepared, showing that they are prepared; buying 3000 dollars worth of MRE's and 200,000 rounds of ammunition to hold in there backyard bomb shelter/guest house. I don't think its wrong or a bad idea to be ready to that extent, just don't wave it around. It looks weird.

Now let me explain my stance on this. From the beginning of this motherfuckers connection with stars and math to when It was made public, I knew it was bullshit, but it is the possibility that grabs you. Theres a huge chance that he's wrong, but what if he's right? Just questions to ask yourself. I didn't really give a shit until I caught wind of zombies. It wasn't taken serious to a point of boarding up my house, it was merely a thought. The simple idea of complete chaos and wild west lawlessness with the struggle to survive is straight up rock and roll. Who doesn't want that? Take it or leave it.

Campings point of view seems pretty straight up. I think he's serious about this, but likes the attention and those donations. In other words, I think he's fucking crazy but he always had a backup when his word fell through. Jokes on you.

Smashing Your Trends Along With Your Life

I recently read my last blog I wrote approximately.... three years ago and I got a little worried. The writing in general was my style, but the fact that I stood up for kids to that point makes me nervous. Don't get me wrong, I believe in that and its my fucking heart and soul I put in this blog, but these kids... These goddamn kids. So be ready for another rant and rave from my one sided point of view and why everybody should be like me.

Stuff like this really pisses me off. I can't stand closed minded people and I see a lot more of it as I grow up. It touches on a person's media choices to how they live their lives. Yes, I said I can't stand closed minded people but before you start puckering your ass give me a second to explain myself.

I think music should have meaning, a feeling, like those words and riffs are straight from the fuckin blood of the ARTIST that put their heart and soul into the work that they do. I don't think having somebody write a song for you then calling yourself a music artist is right. Theres no soul behind what your hearing. I don't have a problem with pop music. Yeah, its stupid, but if thats what you like, then thats what you like. I just can't grasp the idea that people get that same feeling from music as I do. You get the right band in your headphones, you can feel the aggression, you can taste the sorrow, and you can smile when you feel like its being sung to you. The song has a story, a tone, and an emotion all at the same time. I don't hear that on the radio and the full potential of music isn't being used, so never tell me you live for music unless your music is living for you. Until then, keep sucking on the knob of Lady Gaga's dick, because we all know she needs the money.

Media doesn't just mean music. Turn on your television. I have a hard time being interested in shows about drama. I look at it like this. People stick their big fuckin gourds into to much shit, so they can relate to the bullshit which makes watching other peoples problems attractive. TV shows about drama are the only things teens can relate to or even look up to. Maybe thats why kids that are growing up in this generation are so fucked. Look at Jersey Shore for fucks sake, lets watch a bunch of gay men do their hair and see how many dicks Snooki sucked off this week. Get a fucking life and stop caring about these peoples.

Personality is also the biggest downfall of these preteen-teen shit heads. Walk into any high school, at any time of the day, any day of the month, and you'll find the most confused, idiotic, sickening people you'll ever meet in your life. If schools taught me anything, its how to deal with and identify stupid fucking people. Feelings do not matter. Theres no support because all the parents are about as fucking stupid. No individuality because everybody has to be like the girl who don't gag or the guy who knows how to get a girl in bed. I'm not impressed. I want to see people who care, have self respect, and the confidence to speak for themselves. Its like these kids look at themselves like they are worth nothing and nothing matters to them.

Oh... And give up on the fucking flare jeans.

Life needs to be taken slowly but lived fast. Make memories and love the people that are close to you. Accept people for who they are, but question everything. Learn from your mistakes and grow into somebody who can prove they're here for a reason.

-Dakota Wilson

The Child Hood Misunderstanding

Yes. I haven't been writing blogs as much as I should, fuck off. Ive been to busy shacking your wife and being a real man. The good thing about having a five month break, is, in fact, having ample time to think about stuff that pisses me off giving me a surplus of worthless shit I can spill out into your empty heads.

Ive started school and have got a lot more time to float around and watch stuff unfold. Many of you may have seen this once in your life, perhaps even experienced it. Its the hidden feud between the middle aged/elderly and youth. Let me enlighten you.

Turn on your TV right now to TLC, and slowly and intently watch as 5'4, 130 pound mother of twenty-six raises her children with play dates and teddy bears because the paint doesn't contain lead. I will put my life on the line saying I will be a greater parent then these by-the-book worthless parents. They've stolen the spontaneous fun and laughter from these kids lives.

What the hell is "play date" anyways? When in the hell did fun have to be scheduled? I feel like these little kiddy's are already being slaughtered of their individuality because they can't do what the fuck they want to do. Lady, maybe your seven year old kid doesn't want to go to the art museum in a stroller hes to big for, I think he'd rather burn ants in the backyard with a magnifying glass half naked without you around. I am i no way saying "Never see your child" but I think there are easier ways to be your little dudes homie then strapping him to your right leg with a belt. Be their friend, not there guardian from everything that you think is evil. Life is short, and you need to experience things. Experiences make a person who they are, from how they act in tough situations, to how they treat a lady. Parents should be their for there children when there children need them, not to flog them with your presence in a controlling "Don't get hurt" attitude and holding a blanket over the kids head when anything PG-13 happens to come about. If your kid don't look up to you, he looks up to his friends, and who knows what that little pricks doing. What i'm saying is, give your kid space to fuck up and learn, teaching them respect and to be a leader along the way.

When I was a kid, you know how many times I smacked my fucking head on the ground when my chain came off my bike at full speed, more times then I could count, and you know what my dad said, "Get back on that motherfucker or I'm gonna kick your ass". Any parent who's like I explained above is dialing child protective services right now to save me from my "oh so terrible" life. You have to take stuff like that and apply it to your current life. You get fired from your job, your girlfriend dumps you, you lose a loved one, you take that advice you got when you fell off that bike. Get back on that motherfucker, and make the best of what you got. It makes you a strong and smart person in the end.

Parents these days also give in to there kids to much. The little brat got a toy because he cried the whole twenty minutes while you where shopping. Smack the little prick upside the head. Wining to get something and succeeding isn't going to help you later in life when you ask your boss for a raise and he says no. Make the kid learn if he asks, you say no, and hes respectful and content with the fact you said no and that maybe you'll reward him with what he asked for.

Also...

What I have trouble comprehending, are these extreme limits on anything that contains sugar. This one can of coke a day, or half of a candy bar, saving the other half for later bullshit. Let me explain this to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with putting limits on things for your kids, but its when it gets to the point to where they're a Jew in the 40's is wrong. Let the kid be a goddamn kid. Maybe if you let the little guy outside to play instead of waiting around inside for mommies play date, he wouldn't be fat ass, and would maybe burn off some of them calories from the two cans of pop he drank that day.

It also just isn't parents that make life for kids hard, its people stuck in the past. I'm assuming here, but if you go back far enough, i'm sure blasting music out of your stereo in your car always wasn't as popular as it is today. I read an article in some stupid school magazine where some kids were asked why they played music loud. I read "Because.. you know, its like... cool dude" Fuck that kid and anybody with his last name. Older people need to realize, its a form of self expression. That music means something to that person, it goes deeper then the noise, it lets people know "This is what I am" and "This is what I believe" in so many words. Music gets your friends, from experience, you can make a friend by having a shirt that has a band somebody likes, and even to the point where your more then friends, but best friends. You play ska and punk out of your car stereo loud enough to so people outside your vehicle can hear it sets yourself apart from people playing something else. Punks hang out with each other, hipster wiggers congregate with other hipster wiggers, and they all find each other through the powerful force that is music.

I never understood the point of banning or looking down on a certain activity because you don't do it. I don't mean shooting up or smoking crack but something as simple skateboarding. Living in a communist community, Ive seen this happen. "No Skateboarding" signs on the main street of a town of 800 people is a joke. I think people look down on certain things because of the bad image they think it has or because they've never done it. Just because you where locked in on a farm fucking your goats for fun doesn't mean you need to shutdown anybody not doing what you did. Look at it this way. Yeah, the little prick is riding his skateboard down the street, but is he selling dope to your son, is he raping your daughter in an alley, is she smashing the windows out of your house? No, there skateboarding. Its a stress relief and something that can keep you out of trouble, Just like riding a motorcycle or fishing. I do realize not everybody on a board is perfect. Yet, you do have to consider that not everybody riding a motorcycle is an outlaw. Understand my point?

What i'm saying is, let your kid, or any kid live there life. Its not yours and you had your chance. Give them space to be themselves, but always be there for them when they need you. This is the next generation, and from what I see for the people coming up into it. This is going to be one fucked up world. And I blame you 5'4, 130 pound mother. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

-Dakota Wilson

-How to Be a REAL Man-

There's a lot of men out there in this world and the purpose of this blog is separate the goldfish from the sharks and to guide any thirteen year old up-and-comings in the path of badassness. Take it from me, it takes one to know one.

First thing you want to do is work on your speech. Cursing is a great way to let everybody know your dick is tucked into your sock. You'll need it to be recognized in any public place (Crack houses, titty bars, gang bangs, and your little girls preschool). Its really fucking cool and can show people around you that you don't give a fuck about nothing. It doesn't take a lot of practice or much explaining and is easily the easiest first step to becoming a real man.

The next thing you want to work on with is speech and how to use it. You need to work on different forms of manly slang and learn how to talk to and pick up women. "Nice ass baby" works good as well as "Look at them titties!" Most manly slang will be picked up from hanging out with other manly men but those are two good starter phrases. And always remember, women love it when you are touching them so always have your hand on there back area or shoulders, no matter how much they say to stop, its just them coming onto you.

So now your asking yourself, "I'm wearing a star wars shirt and living with my mom, so how am I supposed to meet manly men like you Dakota?" Well I'll tell you.

The most crucial thing to work on is your appearance. It can get you recognized by women and fellow manly men alike. Cutoff sleeve Nascar and beer shirts should be the only thing you wear with old Levis, Wolverine work boots, and cowboy hats. Upper armed barbed wire tattoos are also extremely manly because everybody knows a picture is way more bad ass then the real thing. (You can show this work of art off in your cutoff Nascar shirt).

Have you changed yet? Okay, good!
Its time to buy a truck.

Manly men throughout the ages have always had bad ass vehicles, but old 4x4 trucks reign supreme in the world of manly men. Most manly men stick by certain brands of truck, but for a starter like yourself anything will do. Its always good when buying a manly truck to make sure its used and covered in rust. Once you have your truck picked out, its time to customize it to give it that manly look you want. Big tires are a good start. You can use these bad boys to get through just about anything. Believe me, there's nothing in this world that will make your dick feel bigger then climbing a hill or blazing through a big pond. Then cut off your muffler just below your seat to make that baby loud. Theirs nothing that turns a girl on more then a really loud truck, so let your new beast purr.

There are other "odd" things and accessory's you can use to show off your a man.

• Buy an armory of different types of weapons and ammo to defend yourself in any situation. Its a manly law to always have a gun on you, you never know whats around the corner.
• Drinking beer is the ultimate manly man activity. Its used to socialize and tell stories of the last colored person you ran over or how attractive you think your sister is. Real men stories.

Under law, your currently a many man, so go out and find some new friends.
That doesn't mean your done, theirs still a lot to learn baby bird.

Next you need to work on is your mindset. Your mindset will take longer then all of the manly things you learned put together. You will need to change your whole outlook on life, people, and yourself. Start off by making everything about you. This may sound like it will destroy relationships with people you know but it won't, everybody already wants to be around you.

Now you need to work on superiority. Every manly man knows your still a fledgling if you haven't proclaimed yourself better then everybody else because your American. Remember that, we have the bombs, we are free, so be proud! Getting flag tattoos (American, Confederacy, White Pride..etc ) is a cool way to show off your support of America and the wonderful things it stands for... (Hating gays, beating blacks, killing rag heads, and believing in Jesus Christ).

The last thing you need in your quest to becoming a real man and getting the perfect mindset is to obsess over yourself. Masturbating in front of mirrors is a great start. Steroids also help, they will bulk you up and give you a wonderful personality that people will thrive off of.

Before you know it, you'll be the center of attention, women will want you, men will want to be you. You'll be king in your own world and nobody will ever stop you. Good luck my friend.

-Dakota Wilson

*ATTENTION* New Ideas Email!

For anybody looking to drop me an email ive created a new Ideas Blog email!
Things.to.help@gmail.com
Help me out by sending ideas for blogs or just tell me what you think!
Hatemail is also welcome.

-The Airport Situation-

Everybody's done it and if you haven't, its damn well gonna happen,(Unless you take up more then one seat, in which case you'll get your fat ass escorted to the door) which is why I decided this would be a great topic, The Airport Situation.

So here you are, fresh out of your radioactive shit hole you call a town and your out to see the world, escape from the stress and anxiety of your job, and just simply get away, but, this being the land of opportunity, there's always a couple people looking for the "Opportunity" to fuck with you just a little more and remind you your only three hours from home. Why do they do it. I have a theory.

Think about this, your an airport attendant, you work in a fast paced, high stressed environment, everybody is rushing, everybody wants to get away. Most are the "Get A-ways." The employees biggest issue. You've seen these people. Outdated Hawaiian button-up t-shirts, tight khaki above the knee shorts, sandal's with socks, spray on tan and a large ghost white wife, almost matching. Now, think of these people lives. They might have kids, but they are already gone, they both have two horribly paying jobs and maybe just scrapped enough cash together to enjoy themselves. One thing about them. They are mad as fuck. They are already stressed about money and eager to get away, and whats the only thing between them and freedom, the airport. So my point is, maybe the reason for assholes at the airport, is the eagerness to get away, and the assholes piss of the employees who have to take it out on everybody else (Over priced drinks, unnecessary searches, and the all famous, cavity search.)

We covered the aggressive part of the airport, now how about the always occurring layover. When you realize your trapped in Denver airport for three hours you damn well better find something interesting to do. Luckily, I have a couple suggestions. The first thing you wanna do before you explore is evaluate your situation and ask yourself a few simple questions "Have I ate today?" "When did I last take a shit?" "How much time do I have?". You ask yourself these three questions and follow and obey your answer, and you'll be fine. Once you do that, the airport is your oyster and your as bored as a midget in a theme park. Your first option and my favorite is to meet new people. Now this a lot more trickier then it sounds, so to avoid the hassle, go to a smoking station. Here, everybody has answered the"How much time do I have?" question because smoking stations are always conveniently located three miles away from your gate, so bring water. The smoking stations are a great way to meet people (Child molesters, rapists, kidnappers, and the creepy old men who don't stop staring).

If your not the smoking type, you can always waltz your way on over to a gift shop. Gift shops are always a lot of fun to browse, but if your not Bill Gates, good luck walking out of one with anything more then a hustler and a pack of gum.

If looking at twenty dollar key chains isn't fun, try scaring the shit out of people. Its a lot more risky but only for the hardcore. The first thing you wanna do if your the hardcore traveler, is always travel wearing a black business suit, black sun glasses, and always walk around on your cellphone. Follow any person who looks to be from the middle east and mumble loudly but not to coherently and have a conversation with yourself expressing the words "Target;following;bomb;terrorist;execute;roger that;. I can guarantee you that dirty rag head won't be bombing anymore buildings, because everybody knows their all guilty.

I hope this helps you on your next endeavor!
-Dakota Wilson